Why I’m Not Afraid To Die

We all die.

It’s part of life.

You can’t have life without death.

That sentence struck me as I watched those flames consume the wood it needed to shine.

The flames were life and the consumed wood was death. That flame needed the wood to die in order to continue to radiate.

Thanatophobia & Necrophobia

Two fears of death, two perspectives on death.

• Thanatophobia: Is the fear of one’s death.
• Necrophobia: Fear of the dead

Zombie creatures seeking brains are the only dead things most people are really scared about.

Finding a cadaver can be a scary moment, but I think it’s mostly gross or just shocking to people.

One’s death on the other hand, is a fear we all come across in our lives. You may only have it for a moment, a day or just through a phase but some, suffer this fear indefinitely.

Causing them deep death anxiety. Constantly thinking of their death.

How will it be?

Where will it be?

Who will I be with?

Will it happen now?

Can you imagine constantly thinking, “Will this be the moment I go?”. 

Do people who suffer from this phobia actually get a chance to live?

Everybody dies but, not everybody lives.

Is a tweaked version of William Wallace’s version; “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”

But, Why?

Why are so many people afraid to die?

I think it’s control.

Think of it this way, our brains are constantly trying to be in control. This makes us feel safe. The unknown on the other hand, what we can’t control, is an enigma and therefore causes anxiety.

We are afraid to die because we can’t control it.

Why not focus on what we can control?

This is the one and only reason I am not afraid to die. I accept to let go of what I can’t control.

This lesson was extremely valuable to me. Learning to give up control brought me joy in so many areas of my life, beyond just the thought of death.

Think about it for a second, how many arguments, irritations and fears could you have avoided if you wouldn’t have tried to control the situation?

When was the last time you argued with someone? If you take a moment to think about what actually made you mad, I bet control had a lot to do with it.

• Maybe you were mad/irritated because your girlfriend or boyfriend came home late. Are you trying to control their schedules?
• Your roommate left dirty dishes in the sink. Are you controlling the cleanliness of the house? Or maybe your roomies chores?
• The asshole in front of you cut you off while driving. Are you trying to control his/her bad driving? 

In all cases it’s never the thing the other person did that angers, frustrates us, or gives us fear, it’s that our “controlled expectation” was not met and THIS is what angers us.

• “I was expecting to see you at this time and it didn’t happen. Im irritated!”
  • If you were also late, your partner being late isn’t that big of a deal anymore.
• “Do we live in a pigsty now? Why don’t you clean up after yourself?”
  • If you had a cleaning lady, you wouldn’t care about the dishes.
• “I was expecting a safe drive until this asshole cut me off!”
  • If it wasn’t you but the guy behind you that got cut off, you may not even notice that it happened.

I accept my death because I let go of the inevitable. If there is something I don’t like in my life, all I can do is attempt to change it. If I can’t change it, the next step is to accept it.

I will always try to do everything and anything that makes me happy while staying true to my values and morals. If I die while doing something that makes me happy then, that’s how I was suppose to go!

The number one thing people regret on their death bed is not living their live’s to the fullest. So make sure you don’t compromise throughout your life either.

There is no reason to fear what you can’t control. And for what you can control, own it and make it your own.

Do the things you love, be with the people you love and be the person you want to be.

Doing this, at least for me, kills all fears of death.